Half-Full or Half-Empty?

Tomorrow at 12:30pm (or so) will mark the half-way point of my summer internship. I also passed the half-way point of my summer break (!) sometime in the past week or so.

I'm excited and nervous at the same time. There are a lot of great things about the summer (hello- no homework or exams!) but at the same time, these past two summers really started highlighting how much college has come to mean to me. In a way, I realized that I'm more of an academic that I took myself for (and yeah, it took 3 summers of non-academic work to realize that). Because of these things, and many others, I've decided, practically last-second, to apply to Graduate school this fall.

HOLY. SHIT.

There are a few things saving me here. One is that I signed up for the GRE right away, and will take it and be done with it right when school starts. The other is that, theoretically, I had guaranteed graduate school admission to the college I currently attend right now.

So, at least I know I'll get in somewhere, right???

Anyways, that's got me freaking out pretty good right now. I've been scouring other Graduate schools (I have a hefty list of...3 schools I'm applying to. Yep. Just 3.), doing practice questions, and trying to figure out what to write for my personal statement (why do YOU want to go to graduate school?). Fun.

In between all this, I still work 45-50 hours a week, commute 160 miles to/from home every weekend, and attempt to keep up with friends located in various places along the east coast (Southern Virginia, NYC, Pittsburgh, Raleigh/Durham, etc.). And I'm starting Insanity tomorrow. Shoot me.

Anyways, the title of the post is in reference to how I'm feeling about the summer so far. Am I happy it's half over? Ready for school to start? Or am I wishing it was longer?

Honestly it's a bit of both. On the one hand, sometimes I wish I was closer to friends and family. Being in Baltimore (80 miles from home, 250 miles from school) is a bit...depressing at times. At work, it's not too bad since my coworkers are great conversationalists, but in the evening when I'm eating dinner and relaxing on my own, sometimes I wish I had someone else with me.

And yet, I kind of like summer. I like not having school work or exams to be stressed about (ignoring you, GRE). I like that weekends mean relaxing, hanging out with family, and (on occasion) going up to school. I like that school is kind of empty, my friends are pretty relaxed, and that I can spend the whole day with people I like without worrying about getting back to my dorm or finishing an assignment. It's relaxed and wonderful.

And yet...I've somehow fallen in love with Pittsburgh (minus the parking). I can't imagine graduating next year and just leaving. I've become emotionally attached to the city, my school, the people there, even the ridiculous weather patterns.

I guess it all comes down to this: I'm going to spend the summer happily working and being with my family. And when I move back to school for the fall, it will be with a happy heart and a joyful outlook for the future.