Half-Full or Half-Empty?

Tomorrow at 12:30pm (or so) will mark the half-way point of my summer internship. I also passed the half-way point of my summer break (!) sometime in the past week or so.

I'm excited and nervous at the same time. There are a lot of great things about the summer (hello- no homework or exams!) but at the same time, these past two summers really started highlighting how much college has come to mean to me. In a way, I realized that I'm more of an academic that I took myself for (and yeah, it took 3 summers of non-academic work to realize that). Because of these things, and many others, I've decided, practically last-second, to apply to Graduate school this fall.

HOLY. SHIT.

There are a few things saving me here. One is that I signed up for the GRE right away, and will take it and be done with it right when school starts. The other is that, theoretically, I had guaranteed graduate school admission to the college I currently attend right now.

So, at least I know I'll get in somewhere, right???

Anyways, that's got me freaking out pretty good right now. I've been scouring other Graduate schools (I have a hefty list of...3 schools I'm applying to. Yep. Just 3.), doing practice questions, and trying to figure out what to write for my personal statement (why do YOU want to go to graduate school?). Fun.

In between all this, I still work 45-50 hours a week, commute 160 miles to/from home every weekend, and attempt to keep up with friends located in various places along the east coast (Southern Virginia, NYC, Pittsburgh, Raleigh/Durham, etc.). And I'm starting Insanity tomorrow. Shoot me.

Anyways, the title of the post is in reference to how I'm feeling about the summer so far. Am I happy it's half over? Ready for school to start? Or am I wishing it was longer?

Honestly it's a bit of both. On the one hand, sometimes I wish I was closer to friends and family. Being in Baltimore (80 miles from home, 250 miles from school) is a bit...depressing at times. At work, it's not too bad since my coworkers are great conversationalists, but in the evening when I'm eating dinner and relaxing on my own, sometimes I wish I had someone else with me.

And yet, I kind of like summer. I like not having school work or exams to be stressed about (ignoring you, GRE). I like that weekends mean relaxing, hanging out with family, and (on occasion) going up to school. I like that school is kind of empty, my friends are pretty relaxed, and that I can spend the whole day with people I like without worrying about getting back to my dorm or finishing an assignment. It's relaxed and wonderful.

And yet...I've somehow fallen in love with Pittsburgh (minus the parking). I can't imagine graduating next year and just leaving. I've become emotionally attached to the city, my school, the people there, even the ridiculous weather patterns.

I guess it all comes down to this: I'm going to spend the summer happily working and being with my family. And when I move back to school for the fall, it will be with a happy heart and a joyful outlook for the future.

Miss Peacock in the Conservatory with the Revolver

If you had one week left to live, would you still be doing what you’re doing now? In what areas of your life are you preparing to live? Take them off your To Do list and add them to a To Stop list. Resolve to only do what makes you come alive.

So, I have to admit, part of this prompt confuses me. I don't quite get what "preparing to live" means. I mean, technically, college prepares me to live for, you know, ever, and somehow I think that quitting college isn't QUITE what the prompt writer meant for me to do.

But anywho, I'll just answer this as best I can. I have a week left to live. What am I doing? Well, some of my activities will continue, for sure. One of them is that I just started playing guitar:

My new baby!

And alright, even though I wouldn't be able to pick up a LOT in one week, I think I'd still get a kick out of spending it learning an instrument that I've been wanted to play for the past 6 years or so.

Another thing I'd keep doing is photography, to the extreme. There are a lot of photos that I would love to touch up and get printed, real big. Or even just small and framed. I'm a bit narcissistic and want to decorate my house using photography I've done. Well, kind of. Basically, any photography that I have in the house (that isn't a portrait) I want to be a photo I have taken.

The third and last thing I'd want to do relates back to yesterdays post: Being with friends (and family). Basically, people I love. I am very much a social person and I need to be around my friends and family in order to be really happy.

I guess in my last week I'd do this: Have a week-long music party (at the beach) where I played my guitar and took lots of photos of all my friends.

Seeing that written in one sentence, I can now say one thing at least: This goal is achievable. And, surprisingly, I already know when it will happen: Right after I graduate. My "gang" (of lab mates) and I plan to go to beach, spend a week there, and I'm sure we will play lots of music and take photos.

In the meantime though, I'll still be practicing the guitar and taking photos to put into frames! And my next trip to see my friends is already in the works!

Forget travel, it's all about the company!

Not everyone wants to travel the world, but most people can identify at least one place in the world they’d like to visit before they die. Where is that place for you, and what will you do to make sure you get there?

You know, it's strange. I'm sitting here, thinking about all the places that I've been lucky to visit in the two decades of my life: India, Australia, New Zealand, Hawaii, London, Paris, Mexico...and I don't really know where I would yearn to return, or still long to go.

Up until recently I would have jumped at the chance to go to Italy (particularly Rome) and Greece, but, for some reason, I don't really mind that anymore.

Even within the US, I can't really say there are a lot of places that I have a strong desire to go to: Not California or New York or Florida.

And so, after thinking about all of this, I realized it's not really the location that matters to me, obviously a nice location (maybe warm, with a good breeze), but the company I'm with.

There's a saying that goes "Half the fun is getting there" (in regards to a trip). I think the other half is who you go with. I recently had the opportunity to go back to school last weekend (which I mentioned in my last post) and I had the most wonderful time doing very little. I spent a day at the park and wandering around some neighborhoods (including stopping by the Chancellor's Residence), I went to a Waffle Shop that doubles as an online, live show, and I saw a band play on the steps of the library. This summer I'll definitely be going back up, and I'm also spending a weekend in New York City to visit a friend who is interning up there.

Seeing my friends isn't easy though. It involves working crazy overtime hours during the earlier parts of the week (10-11 hour days) so that I can take off Friday and either drive the 4-5 hours (to Pittsburgh) or go home and bus the 4-5 hours (to NYC) to see my friends. Then I get back late Sunday night, and if my return location is home, it means sleeping little, waking up early (4:30am) and then driving the last 70 miles from home to work on Monday morning. It's not easy, and it can hardly be qualified as fun (because it's never fun to leave your friends, but maybe to get there), but if that's what it takes, that's what I do.

So, if you were to ask me where I wanted to go before I die, I'd answer quite honestly: I want to go where my friends are. It's not so much a place to visit as much as it is the memories I take away. A location can't give me the same sense of happiness that my friends can. And I think that's the most important thing of all.

Three Lefts

The world is powered by passionate people, powerful ideas, and fearless action. What’s one strong belief you possess that isn’t shared by your closest friends or family? What inspires this belief, and what have you done to actively live it?

There's a funny (or not so funny) joke that goes "Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do!"

I'm not sure what that has to do with this post. Other than, I always strive to be right, except when I lean left. The first in terms of correctness, the second in terms of politics.

My family is Republican. Luckily, they aren't the scary, gun-wielding, Palin-loving, crazy-as-shit Republicans, but, none-the-less, in the last election, I think all three of them voted for McCain. I could be wrong (and I hope I am).

I couldn't vote in the last election (I wasn't yet 18, shy by just about 6 weeks) but I did already have strong political tendencies, thanks to a ferociously awesome AP Gov teacher my senior year of HS.

One of the things that I am always strongly involved in now, in my own way, is gay rights. First of all, I don't even know why this is an issue to begin with. Since when are gay people not people? Since when do citizens of the United States not get all guaranteed rights simply due to sexual preference? Since when was discrimination the norm? (Okay, so maybe discrimination was the norm 50 years ago, but today? In the 21st century?).

Anyways, if it isn't clear, I am very, very, VERY pro-gay rights. I will debate to NO end about gay marriage, repealing DADT, and anything else that involves the LGBT Community and their rights. When I'm not reading up on articles and yelling at stupid people (generally on the internet), I also love getting active around campus. This means going to protests on campus, helping fund the protests (hey, I love bake sales as much as the next person!) and being a somewhat active member of the Rainbow Alliance group on campus.

I've lost "friends" over my beliefs. If you're going to discriminate and hate, I'm gonna discriminate and hate right back atcha. You wanna strip away other peoples rights, or deny them? Then I'm gonna deny you a friendship, or any respect.

My first friend (and one of my best friends) that I ever made in college is gay. I think part of what spurred me into action was realizing how much I love him, and how much it hurts to know that we aren't equals in the eyes of the law when it comes to certain things. It's for him, and for everyone else that I know and don't know, that I fought and will continue to fight for.

And if you disagree with me, the door's waiting for you.

Playing Grownup

If ‘the voyage of the best ship is a zigzag line of a hundred tacks,’ then it is more genuine to be present today than to recount yesterdays. How would you describe today using only one sentence? Tell today’s sentence to one other person. Repeat each day.

Today I was a grownup for the first time: I paid all my bills and ran errands during my half-hour lunch break.