--
Dear Sis,
We need to talk, you and I. It's about your stuff. Your mounds of stuff. You have so much stuff hiking it would be an accomplishment greater than hiking Mount Everest.
Seriously. Where does this come from? Every year I help you move in and out of your college living location, and every year you magically manage to amass more crap in a smaller square footage. It's terrifying. Like Godzilla.
And let's be honest. Godzilla is fucking terrifying. Think of how scared all those Japanese people were. I bet at least one person peed their pants. YOU HAVE SO MUCH STUFF SOMEONE MIGHT PEE THEIR PANTS IN TERROR*.
Seriously. Where does this come from? Every year I help you move in and out of your college living location, and every year you magically manage to amass more crap in a smaller square footage. It's terrifying. Like Godzilla.
And let's be honest. Godzilla is fucking terrifying. Think of how scared all those Japanese people were. I bet at least one person peed their pants. YOU HAVE SO MUCH STUFF SOMEONE MIGHT PEE THEIR PANTS IN TERROR*.
But seriously. Let's talk about down grading. How about packing only what you need. Essentials. Basics.
And that may be difficult for you, I know, with your three suitcases, three boxes, a duffel bag, some trash bags, and a backpack full of clothes**. But how about, maybe, shocker!, you pack by the season?
In the summer, take down the clothes that you need until Fall Break. Then, switch out some summery clothes for some fall-wear to last you until Thanksgiving. Then bring back all your summer dresses that, let's be honest, you probably only wore two of them that one time you went to a bar-be-que at a friend's house but you left early cause they made burgers and you don't eat beef.
You get the idea.
So, next time you want help moving out, don't look this way. And even if you do, I'll still be digging myself out of the pile of stuff that I helped take home last year.
Oh, by the way, do you want this blue shirt? Cause I like it, and I bet you won't miss it? Oh you will? Oh too bad. It's mine.
And that may be difficult for you, I know, with your three suitcases, three boxes, a duffel bag, some trash bags, and a backpack full of clothes**. But how about, maybe, shocker!, you pack by the season?
In the summer, take down the clothes that you need until Fall Break. Then, switch out some summery clothes for some fall-wear to last you until Thanksgiving. Then bring back all your summer dresses that, let's be honest, you probably only wore two of them that one time you went to a bar-be-que at a friend's house but you left early cause they made burgers and you don't eat beef.
You get the idea.
So, next time you want help moving out, don't look this way. And even if you do, I'll still be digging myself out of the pile of stuff that I helped take home last year.
Oh, by the way, do you want this blue shirt? Cause I like it, and I bet you won't miss it? Oh you will? Oh too bad. It's mine.
Your movin' on and out sister,
Me.
--
And there it is. A short and simple letter.
Tomorrow's letter is to my dreams. Teaser: "And it's really not okay to think that your friend can turn into an evil cup of coffee and enter your room through a window as steam. Luckily the talking pigeon helped."
You want to read that letter. Trust me.
--R.
*Slight exaggeration
**Notice how I only mentioned clothes? Don't even get me started on the REST of her stuff...
And there it is. A short and simple letter.
Tomorrow's letter is to my dreams. Teaser: "And it's really not okay to think that your friend can turn into an evil cup of coffee and enter your room through a window as steam. Luckily the talking pigeon helped."
You want to read that letter. Trust me.
--R.
*Slight exaggeration
**Notice how I only mentioned clothes? Don't even get me started on the REST of her stuff...
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