Today's letter is made out to my dreams, and by way of association, my subconscious.
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Dear Subconscious,
I get it. Dreams are the easy and imaginative way for us to sift through our deepest, darkest thoughts while also resting ourselves up to take on the day. But sometimes I feel like you go from "normal" to "hyped on on waaaaay to much caffeine and OH MY GOD A BUTTERFLY".
Just like that.
Some of my dreams are really normal: I go to school and forget my homework. I go to school and forget to wear clothes. I forget to go to school.*
And then, then there are the other ones.
My most prominent memory of a dream where I woke up and my first thought was "WTF SUBCONSCIOUS?!" goes as follows:
I was in my room in my apartment and my window overlooks the back door. I had three friends trying to get in, but one was actually an evil wizard. Through the magic of my subconscious, the two good friends get in the door and I am left staring at the evil one out my window. But wait! The evil one turns into a cup of coffee before my eyes. And, as if that wasn't weird enough, the steam from that cup of coffee rises up into my room through the crack in my window, turning back into the evil one.
Dear Subconscious,
I get it. Dreams are the easy and imaginative way for us to sift through our deepest, darkest thoughts while also resting ourselves up to take on the day. But sometimes I feel like you go from "normal" to "hyped on on waaaaay to much caffeine and OH MY GOD A BUTTERFLY".
Just like that.
Some of my dreams are really normal: I go to school and forget my homework. I go to school and forget to wear clothes. I forget to go to school.*
And then, then there are the other ones.
My most prominent memory of a dream where I woke up and my first thought was "WTF SUBCONSCIOUS?!" goes as follows:
I was in my room in my apartment and my window overlooks the back door. I had three friends trying to get in, but one was actually an evil wizard. Through the magic of my subconscious, the two good friends get in the door and I am left staring at the evil one out my window. But wait! The evil one turns into a cup of coffee before my eyes. And, as if that wasn't weird enough, the steam from that cup of coffee rises up into my room through the crack in my window, turning back into the evil one.
Well, shit. Who saw that coming?
So, I precede to do the first logical** thing I can think of and simply run out of my room into the living room. While sitting on the couch, now unfazed about the evil one, who seems to have been thwarted by my ingenious change of rooms, a pigeon flies through the skylight in the room and starts stealing my school supplies. I freak out, not because a pigeon just flew in, but because said pigeon is stealing my homework. Of course, in my infinite laziness, I do nothing but freak out from my position on the couch. The pigeon, somehow sensing my distraught-ness, comes back into the room and begins to have a conversation with me.
So, I precede to do the first logical** thing I can think of and simply run out of my room into the living room. While sitting on the couch, now unfazed about the evil one, who seems to have been thwarted by my ingenious change of rooms, a pigeon flies through the skylight in the room and starts stealing my school supplies. I freak out, not because a pigeon just flew in, but because said pigeon is stealing my homework. Of course, in my infinite laziness, I do nothing but freak out from my position on the couch. The pigeon, somehow sensing my distraught-ness, comes back into the room and begins to have a conversation with me.
I think this is completely normal***. At the end of the conversation, he drops of my things that he took (not knowing it was my homework). At this point we proceed to go on an underwater Spongebob-Sqaurepants-themed amusement park ride, that is actually my couch.
That's right. I never left my couch and this all happened.
Anyways, subconscious. I think you get the idea. You need to shape up, and become slightly more normal! PLEASE! My friends are starting to get worried that I'm taking drugs before I go to bed (or that I'm taking drugs and not going to bed but just think I am). Because it's really not okay to think that your friend can turn into an evil cup of coffee and enter your room through a window as steam. Luckily the talking pigeon helped.
Wishing I could control you and make up my own dreams,
Me.
--
Hopefully you found that retelling of one of my most vivid-yet-bizarre dreams as hilarious as I do. Tomorrow's letter is to a stranger. This one has actually been in the writing a little, but here is a snippet: "Dear guy at Starbucks whose boxers I've unfortunately been staring at because you're right in front of me, Ew."
Woohoo! You want to see this rant against humanity! Or the lack thereof, as the case may be.
That's right. I never left my couch and this all happened.
Anyways, subconscious. I think you get the idea. You need to shape up, and become slightly more normal! PLEASE! My friends are starting to get worried that I'm taking drugs before I go to bed (or that I'm taking drugs and not going to bed but just think I am). Because it's really not okay to think that your friend can turn into an evil cup of coffee and enter your room through a window as steam. Luckily the talking pigeon helped.
Wishing I could control you and make up my own dreams,
Me.
--
Hopefully you found that retelling of one of my most vivid-yet-bizarre dreams as hilarious as I do. Tomorrow's letter is to a stranger. This one has actually been in the writing a little, but here is a snippet: "Dear guy at Starbucks whose boxers I've unfortunately been staring at because you're right in front of me, Ew."
Woohoo! You want to see this rant against humanity! Or the lack thereof, as the case may be.
--R.
*These normally occur right around the due date of an important assignment
**And by logical I mean stupid
***See above
***See above
Don't worry, I had a dream that I was on my plane to Cairo and the stupid pilots used the plane like a car to make a 3 point turn in the river and take off. It worked but I jumped out and then the plane destabilized, falling into the river. Everyone survived but those pilots got their asses served to them in court lol
ReplyDeleteEr. Right then! Glad I'm not alone...
ReplyDelete