Why I hate Phoenix, Arizona

I know I promised an update on the Fourth Annual Quidditch World Cup that took place this past weekend in NYC, but I ended up getting exciting news on Tuesday of this week:

I was being flown out to California for an interview with a company that was considering hiring me for the summer!

So...naturally I got sidetracked. Between the two exams, homework assignment, and 12 page lab report, I didn't have time to write about Quidditch.

Oh and this entry? Being typed from my hotel room in CALIFORNIA! Yep! I'm already out here! The email I got Tuesday? It said I needed to be here (San Carlos/Menlo Park*) by today. So here I am!

Anyway, I had to be in California by 3pm PST. This meant that I had to leave Pittsburgh at ridiculous o'clock**. Shock #1 was getting to the airport and finding out that I forgot to book a checked bag with my flight***, so I had to pay $25 to put a tiny duffel inside of the big plane. WTF.

Then, I managed to get through security perfectly fine only to find out a guy from the company I was interviewing with was ON MY FREAKING FLIGHT (Shock #2). What in the HECK?!

Once I got on board, I found out I had a center seat, even though I asked for either window or aisle. No such luck. And I was between two very, very large men, who didn't understand the concept of shoulder room (Shock #3). I didn't sleep much on the flight.

I had unintelligently decided my pre-flight breakfast would be hash browns and a sweet tea from McDonald's. It hit me partway through the flight to Phoenix that I really had to go to the bathroom, but could not wake up overly-large-man to move and let me out. Oh well. I'd wait it out.

My original layover time was about 7 minutes. Enough to get me off the plane and near my next gate when the plane started boarding. My plane arrived in Phoenix almost an hour early. Huzzah! I think, now I have an hour layover!

Wrong. So very wrong.

It turns out another plan was in our arrival gate. And it sucked at leaving on time. We landed at 9:25am. We were supposed to get the gate by 9:55am. At 10:10am the other plane finally left our gate, but then a bunch of planes weren't moving because, for whatever reason, there was a freaking FREEZE of movement of planes at the gate (Shock #4). My boarding time for my connecting flight to California was 10:20am.

FINALLY at 10:20am our plane docks at the gate. At this point I make a mad rush out of the plane and start speed walking**** to my gate.

Oh and by the way. We arrived in gate A25, I needed to be at gate B26. Which was about a half-mile away. Eff.

So I'm speed walking to my gate, barreling past old ladies who move slow and stupid men on cell phones who move slower. I rush past the last bathroom on my way to the gate, at which point it's already 10:37am. My plane departs at 10:50am and it was on time.

I skip the bathroom and run up to my gate. Right when I get there, they announced that I needed to board.

Relief! Sweet sweet relief! Except not. That sweet tea was mocking me. "HEY RITA YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM BECAUSE OF ME HA HA HA"

Curse you, sweet tea. You and your sadistic ways.

So, I'm stuck in a middle seat again (am I surprised? no.) and the second the seat belt sign comes undone I see like 4 people trying to get to the bathroom. NO WAY SUCKERS. I force the guy next to me to get up and run to the back, finally reaching a bathroom.

Once my bathroom and connecting flight ordeal were done, I only had one problem left. The nagging worry that, although my human body had sprinted a half-mile to my departure gate, my little duffel bag had gotten mixed up with other bags and NEVER LEFT PHOENIX.

This nagged and nagged at me. When we landed in San Jose, I ran down to baggage claim and anxiously waited and waited and waited for my little duffel to appear. Finally, after what seemed like every one else's bag had come up on the belt, my little bright-blue duffel appeared! HALLELUJAH!

From there, things seemed freaking FANTASTIC. My pre-reserved van didn't have any other passengers, so my driver took me straight to my hotel, having a great discussion about the show "Cash Cab", airport security, and why the news sucks. He also referred to me as "my friend" every minute or so. It was kind of awesome.

Since then, I checked into my hotel, had a relaxing time checking email and surfing the net*****, and got ready for my dinner.

Turns out there were about 15 people who had been flown out to California. At dinner, which was really REALLY delicious, I got a chance to talk to a bunch of them. We ranged in studies from juniors in undergrad to post-PhD students. Everyone was incredibly nice and intelligent, and we all had really funny stories to tell.

Now I have a full day tomorrow: tours of the engineering facilities, meals, and interviews.

But, even though things turned out okay, I will never, EVER, stop hating Phoenix, Arizona. Because while I may be able to one day forgive it for this airport fiasco, I will never EVER forgive it for spawning the character "Bella Swan".

Until I'm in Pittsburgh again!

--R.

*It's really close to Cupertino/Apple/Google and about 1 hour from San Francisco

**I woke up at 3:30am and was waiting for a bus at 4:15am. YUCK.

***Why the heck is this a requirement now? Paying for bags is dumb. This is why I love SouthWest.

****Really it was just gracefully slow running. Like when you give up on running the mile but still want to look like you're putting in effort? That.

*****Relaxing? Just kidding. The first thing I read was an email from my lab TA saying I had to add more discussion to the report I turned in, and it had to be done before I went to dinner. Fantastic!